"No you Aint"

     Today my kids and I and my friend Mindy and her kids headed back over to the apartments to talk to the kids and we hoped some parents. I felt myself getting nervous as we pulled up and about that time Bronson said, "mom I feel nervous when we go here". I told him that we needed to pray and that God would take care of us. I said that we have to get out of our comfort zone and that these kids needed us to encourage them. When we pulled up no one was around. For the first 10 minutes we played Mindy's family vs mine in basketball on the goal with no net. Soon kids started coming around. We gave them snacks and started playing some games with them. We played a version of Simon says that we called, "God says". Then we played red light/green light and then sang a few songs. Then, I told them a bible story about David and Goliath.
      I noticed that some adults were standing around quite aways back from us. They were all circled up talking to each other.  One of the mom's called her kids over to her. They had to get up from listening to the story I was telling and run over to their mom. After I finished the story I walked to my car which was about where the adults were standing. Brax was asleep in my locked car. I hated to wake him up so I just parked right by where we were playing. As I walked over to look in the window at him to make sure he was still asleep I heard the little girl say to her mom, "but mom, all we were doing was listening to a story". She said NO YOU AINT!! Go get your sister, too!! I was so sad because that mom wouldn't allow her 3 kids to be a part of what we were doing. She wanted no part of us!! I heard another group of adults say, "there's that coaches wife again!".
      I felt such spiritual warfare taking place. We were not welcome there, that I knew. But, I also knew that God wanted us there. He desires spiritual transformation in that apartment complex. I am not sure what to do because maybe I need to try and explain what we are doing to the parents. I am not sure how to help the people there to understand that we care about them?  We aren't there to judge them or "turn them in" we are there to LOVE them. I know that they aren't used to that. "The church" usually doesn't minister like this. I know that they are thinking were are probably the police or work with DHS. They don't want us "checking in" on their turf. So, what do we do? I think we keep going, keep praying, keep loving on the kids that are allowed to be around us. My flesh already wants to quit. I feel rejected, unwanted, and in danger. Who knows what they will do to keep us away? But, do I have to fear? God tells me 365 times not to, so I am going with that.
     I understand why people don't help. Don't do more. It is hard, so very uncomfortable. It is really easier to help in a place like Haiti. We are welcome there. The minute we get off the bus in a village we are welcomed with hugs, hand holding and big smiles. Why is it that kids in Haiti smile more than the kids in this apartment complex? The kids in Coweta have shoes on, clothes on, clean water to drink, a place to live, a school to attend. But, the spiritual darkness is apparent. I keep repeating to myself that Haiti is my mission trip, Coweta is my mission field. This is a spiritual truth that is hard to let sink in. People say it is dangerous to keep going back to the apartments . That I for sure shouldn't take my kids. My kids are innocent and that I don't need to put them in danger. What about the kids at the apartment complex? Are they innocent? Do they deserve love and attention? Of course they do. I can't drop my kids off so I can go "minister". I want my kids to see the me in action; being the hands and feet of God. When they are there with me, they are getting to be the hands and feet also. Isn't that we are called to do? Many of the disciples of Christ died a horrible death because they chose to follow Jesus. They were obedient. I want to be obedient too. I desire to live a life worthy of the call and I want to teach my kids to do that as well.
     Today I was thinking about our friends that we met in Shawnee.  They live a surrendered life for Jesus in a place that you are not allowed to be a Christian. They took their 3 small children there to minister and had their 4th child on the mission field. When parents are called, kids are called too because that is family. They are in Morocco living for Christ. Right now I am just called to Coweta. I think I should be able to be obedient if they can be obedient to leave everything and move to Africa! I see the kids faces, the adults faces of the apartments we were at today and I know that God created them to have a relationship with HIM. Who is going to tell them that? Who is going to pray for them and show them how loved they are by their maker? We want to do that but how?  As I seek advice I am hearing a lot of, "I wouldn't do that if I were you". "That is not safe, those people aren't going to change."
     It's the same thing I hear when we talk to people about foster kids. We have 4 more classes and we will become foster parents. We went to some friends house on Friday night who have 2 biological children (10 and 1) and 4 foster children, 4, 6, 8, 10 years old. And a Chinese foreign exchange student. They live in a 3 bedroom house and the mom home schools all of them!! When we left that night we were so encouraged to witness a family that lives out the model, "To live is Christ, to die is gain". What the heck is my excuse? I live in a 6 bedroom home with plenty of room for kids that need a home. Several comments have been made to me that say, "as long as your own children don't suffer, or as long as your own kids don't get attention taken away from them, or as long as your own children still get everything they need. This really, really bugs me. My kids are loved being belief and they always will be. Will they have to sacrifice when we take in foster kids? YES!! They will have to share their parents, share their toys, share food, share attention, share everything. Is this wrong? Some say yes. This is when I remind myself that I am pleasing my audience of one and no one else.