Trash Dump: February 25th, 2012

     Last night Brad Johnson, the president of Mission of Hope in Haiti, came to my house!! It was a total God thing because I never would have imagined we could have gotten to spend an entire evening with him. We had 11 other families that came to listen to what he had to say. It was a HUGE blessing for all us.  In May when I went to Haiti for the first time I came back with a burning desire for people in my community to experience what Bronson and I had seen.  That resulted in our second trip this past January back to Haiti where we stayed at MOH. My husband, Brelee (my 6 year old), Bronson (my then 8 year old), our friends The Mullin's (Markwayne, Christie, and their 2 kids Jim, 7 and Andrew 6), Isabelle Bieseigel, and Sarah Hefner went with us. God grew my vision there and really got my husband on board.  The night before we left we got to meet Brad, who started MOH 14 years earlier. He told us that he was coming to Norman for a fundraiser on Feb. 23rd and that is we would like he could come to our house the next day and visit with us about MOH. So, that was last night. He shared from his heart and told the stories to us like it was the first time he ever shared them with anyone. His passion comes from the Lord. Bub took him to the airport this morning at 4:45am. I barely slept last night because my mind raced so much from what he shared with us.
     He shared how God had called he and his wife, Vanessa, to Haiti.  They had nothing but the "burning in their belly" to do what God had called them to do. He said the difference between compassion and a call is that a call burns in your belly and God will not allow you to rest until you do what He says to do.  As he talked I prayed that God would not let any of us rest until we listened to the call that He has placed inside all of us. We all have one, and they are all different.  He told so many cool stories but I want to share one with you now. He talked about a lady that lived in a trash dump. He said literally she hollowed out a little shelter among the trash. He said that 3 kids came walking out of the mountains who were orphans and the lady that lived in the trash took them in. What an example of obedience to her call in the midst of her terrible situation. She had nothing to even care for herself much less 3 orphans. But she did it. Brad pointed out that when we do what God calls us to do there is always blessing in it. James 1:27 says, "true religion that God the Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world". Today she has a home and all 3 of her kids are in school. Praise God for His provision. It made me think about how many of us, myself included, list all the reasons why now or maybe not ever is not the right time to do things that don't make sense in the "world's view" or in our view. "Well, my kids are still little, well, I only have 2 extra rooms so that means I could only take 2 kids at most, I better get my business built up a little better before I start taking on extra stuff". . . and the list goes on and on. Last time I checked none of us live among the trash. . . .

     Good sound "worldly advise" isn't "Godly advise". I hear a lot of wordly logic that sure does make sense if we were of this world. But, we aren't. The last part of James 1:27 says to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Wow. God knew that long ago that our biggest struggle would be on keeping our focus on Him not on the world. What does the Lord expect of my family? I am learning that more everyday. It is exciting and scary. Bub and I were at one of our foster care classes and as the teacher was talking Bub wrote, "Miranda, I am scared!!". I wrote back, "me too, but I am more scared to NOT do what we know we are supposed to do", he wrote back, "me too". It is OK to be scared because when we get scared that is when we know that God will step in. Brad said last night that if God didn't show up daily he would fall flat on his face. That his faith. That is where I want to live.
   

Struck down but not destroyed

     In bible study lately we have been studying 1 and 2 Corinthians. I love the verse that talks about how we are struck down, but not destroyed, persecuted but not abandoned. 2 Corinthians 4:8 says, we are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. It seems like every where I turn there are so many troubles in this world. This verse gives me comfort. My own little family is so "happy". Truly we are a family that loves deeply, laughs often and blessed in EVERY way. But, anytime I peek my head out of my cocoon I see trouble everywhere. Brelee has a little boy in her kindergarden class that I worry about. His mom is a definite drug addict. I worry for his safety and his spirit. He has siblings that I know are suffering at the hands of those that are supposed to take care of them and love them.  Another little boy in Brelee's class just get sent, along with his family, back to Mexico because they were here illegally. They are scared there because the drug cartel is so rampant.
     A few foster care classes ago they showed a video about a little girl, around 9, being beaten, and then later that night, sexually abused by her dad. It was a 3 minute video but afterward none of us could say a word. There are no words. The teachers told us that we would be seeing kids just like this little girl. Except we will have  to deal with it longer than 3 minutes because these kids will be living in our home.  I still get sick when I think about it. But, I know that I am called to face it. To look at it head on. Too many people turn their heads because it hurts. Recently my friend who attends my fitness camp shared about her thoughts on having 2 foster daughters for the past 2 years. She said many people say to her, "I could never be a foster parent, I would just get too attached". She said that when people say that to her it is insulting. She went on to say that she has feelings too. She gets attached and loves. But, she is an adult with a healthy psyche and she can heal. These children are the ones that need to be able to heal. They have been traumatized in every way and they are literally dying for homes and parents that show them safety and love.  I love the way she put that because I hear that comment a lot to. What I say is that yes it is hard to have a child and know that they could be returned home and taken away from me. But, it isn't about me. It's about that child. My job is to love them while I have them. To pour in who God made them to be. To let them know how loved and special they are. That is the focus.
     I am constantly having to remind myself that my life is not my own. That I was bought with a price. I want to lose my life for God's sake, not try to keep it for my own sake, because I know I will lose it. Luke 9:24 says it best, "for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it". This scripture is one that I think about daily. God has truly broken my heart for what breaks his. My prayer is that my heart doesn't stay broken because I act out of obedience to change situations. I want to be the hands and feet of God. It seems like such a big task for such a fallen ME! But, I choose to obey. I choose to listen. I choose to act. It is an exciting life. It is a daily and sometimes moment by moment decision to live this way. Keep me accountable to it friends.

Who takes care of this little girl?

     It has been about 3 weeks since we have been home from our 2nd trip to Haiti. I feel myself slipping back into habits here in the US such as wanting to buy things I don't need, wanting to go out to eat because I don't feel like going to the store or being lazy about doing what I know that I need to be doing. People in Haiti don't have the luxury of not preparing dinner. If they are lucky enough to find something to cook they do the work to prepare it. I know that they eat it too. Even if it doesn't taste that great. That is my kids and my excuse too often. "I don't really like this so I am going to throw it away". I will eat something else later. We do that because we can and we have something else to eat. I know  that this is the wrong attitude.  It is so easy to forget to give thanks in all things because we have so much. Before I go any further I want to give thanks to you, Lord, you are are the giver of all good things. You are good. You are love. You are my provider and my sustainer. I sure thank you God for who you are and who you are making me to be by your Holy Spirit living in me. It's easy to talk about being more thankful but how often do I do it right then and there? I want to live in the moment and not take anything for granted.
     When we were in a village called Leveque talking with the people that lived there I asked everyone to go around and do a "popcorn" sort of thanksgiving prayer. I started with, God today I am thankful to be in Haiti with all of these beautiful people" (JR our translator repeated this in Creole). Then I waited for one of the 30 other kids to say something. Finally, someone said, "God I am thankful for being able to wake up today". Another said, "I am thankful that I had something to eat". Another said, "I am thankful that I woke up", another said, "I am thankful that I will be able to eat something today". This is how the rest of the popcorn prayer went. Just a few simple thank you's like waking up and having the chance to find something to eat. And they were truly thankful for that. WoW!! How often do I overlook waking up and eating!! God was already at work opening my eyes to the way He POURS out blessings on me and has always POURED out blessings on me. Why would He do this? Because He loves me. But He also wants me to use my blessings to bring glory to Him. To make a difference in this world.
     We were out at Leveque about 4 hours that morning and the entire time all of us were holding at least one kid, sometimes 2 (or 3 because they liked to ride on backs too). When we left we looked for  someone to hand a little girl to that my friend Christie had been holding all morning. I asked JR to ask people where this little girl belonged. He told me that the other kids said that her mom had left. I promptly said, "well who takes care of her?". She surely had someone because she was not even 2 years old. After inquiring again, JR told me, kids. Kids?Kids! Yes, kids. Broken hearted we hugged and kissed her and then sat her down on the rocks, got on our canter, and drove away. Did we cry? Yes. We were sad? Brokenhearted!! Did our emotion as we drove away do anything for that little girl? Nothing. She is still there (I pray she is still alive) but nothing has changed for her. As we visited with other missionaries that are in Haiti they said that this situation is very common. That kids all over Haiti (and the world) are being cared for by other kids. That is so sad but I also feel some sort of comfort knowing how God even enables children to do His work. I understand more and more the scriptures that talk about the heart of children. Matthew 18:4 says, "I tell you the truth, unless you humble yourself like this child you will never enter the kingdom of heaven". Kids are so humble, so pure in heart. I take some comfort in knowing that the heart of kids are so good and that at least that precious baby girl is being cared for by precious innocent hearts.
     I talked to my friend Christie today who still feels the tug on her heartstrings (or more accurately in her spirit) from leaving that little girl that day in Leveque. She said a few days after returning from Haiti her husband, Markwayne, came into their bedroom in the morning, flipped on the lights, and told her that he couldn't stop thinking about that little girl in Haiti. He told her to call the MOH and see what could be done to get her into a place of care and that they would take care of the finances to make sure she stayed there until she was grown. One child at a time. One act of obedience. One life changed forever.

Here she is. . . with Bronson holding her. That is our translator JR in the background and Sarah on the left.

"No you Aint"

     Today my kids and I and my friend Mindy and her kids headed back over to the apartments to talk to the kids and we hoped some parents. I felt myself getting nervous as we pulled up and about that time Bronson said, "mom I feel nervous when we go here". I told him that we needed to pray and that God would take care of us. I said that we have to get out of our comfort zone and that these kids needed us to encourage them. When we pulled up no one was around. For the first 10 minutes we played Mindy's family vs mine in basketball on the goal with no net. Soon kids started coming around. We gave them snacks and started playing some games with them. We played a version of Simon says that we called, "God says". Then we played red light/green light and then sang a few songs. Then, I told them a bible story about David and Goliath.
      I noticed that some adults were standing around quite aways back from us. They were all circled up talking to each other.  One of the mom's called her kids over to her. They had to get up from listening to the story I was telling and run over to their mom. After I finished the story I walked to my car which was about where the adults were standing. Brax was asleep in my locked car. I hated to wake him up so I just parked right by where we were playing. As I walked over to look in the window at him to make sure he was still asleep I heard the little girl say to her mom, "but mom, all we were doing was listening to a story". She said NO YOU AINT!! Go get your sister, too!! I was so sad because that mom wouldn't allow her 3 kids to be a part of what we were doing. She wanted no part of us!! I heard another group of adults say, "there's that coaches wife again!".
      I felt such spiritual warfare taking place. We were not welcome there, that I knew. But, I also knew that God wanted us there. He desires spiritual transformation in that apartment complex. I am not sure what to do because maybe I need to try and explain what we are doing to the parents. I am not sure how to help the people there to understand that we care about them?  We aren't there to judge them or "turn them in" we are there to LOVE them. I know that they aren't used to that. "The church" usually doesn't minister like this. I know that they are thinking were are probably the police or work with DHS. They don't want us "checking in" on their turf. So, what do we do? I think we keep going, keep praying, keep loving on the kids that are allowed to be around us. My flesh already wants to quit. I feel rejected, unwanted, and in danger. Who knows what they will do to keep us away? But, do I have to fear? God tells me 365 times not to, so I am going with that.
     I understand why people don't help. Don't do more. It is hard, so very uncomfortable. It is really easier to help in a place like Haiti. We are welcome there. The minute we get off the bus in a village we are welcomed with hugs, hand holding and big smiles. Why is it that kids in Haiti smile more than the kids in this apartment complex? The kids in Coweta have shoes on, clothes on, clean water to drink, a place to live, a school to attend. But, the spiritual darkness is apparent. I keep repeating to myself that Haiti is my mission trip, Coweta is my mission field. This is a spiritual truth that is hard to let sink in. People say it is dangerous to keep going back to the apartments . That I for sure shouldn't take my kids. My kids are innocent and that I don't need to put them in danger. What about the kids at the apartment complex? Are they innocent? Do they deserve love and attention? Of course they do. I can't drop my kids off so I can go "minister". I want my kids to see the me in action; being the hands and feet of God. When they are there with me, they are getting to be the hands and feet also. Isn't that we are called to do? Many of the disciples of Christ died a horrible death because they chose to follow Jesus. They were obedient. I want to be obedient too. I desire to live a life worthy of the call and I want to teach my kids to do that as well.
     Today I was thinking about our friends that we met in Shawnee.  They live a surrendered life for Jesus in a place that you are not allowed to be a Christian. They took their 3 small children there to minister and had their 4th child on the mission field. When parents are called, kids are called too because that is family. They are in Morocco living for Christ. Right now I am just called to Coweta. I think I should be able to be obedient if they can be obedient to leave everything and move to Africa! I see the kids faces, the adults faces of the apartments we were at today and I know that God created them to have a relationship with HIM. Who is going to tell them that? Who is going to pray for them and show them how loved they are by their maker? We want to do that but how?  As I seek advice I am hearing a lot of, "I wouldn't do that if I were you". "That is not safe, those people aren't going to change."
     It's the same thing I hear when we talk to people about foster kids. We have 4 more classes and we will become foster parents. We went to some friends house on Friday night who have 2 biological children (10 and 1) and 4 foster children, 4, 6, 8, 10 years old. And a Chinese foreign exchange student. They live in a 3 bedroom house and the mom home schools all of them!! When we left that night we were so encouraged to witness a family that lives out the model, "To live is Christ, to die is gain". What the heck is my excuse? I live in a 6 bedroom home with plenty of room for kids that need a home. Several comments have been made to me that say, "as long as your own children don't suffer, or as long as your own kids don't get attention taken away from them, or as long as your own children still get everything they need. This really, really bugs me. My kids are loved being belief and they always will be. Will they have to sacrifice when we take in foster kids? YES!! They will have to share their parents, share their toys, share food, share attention, share everything. Is this wrong? Some say yes. This is when I remind myself that I am pleasing my audience of one and no one else.
   

Questions NOT to ask when you are in Haiti. . .

February 1st, 2012
I have so many stories from the 2 trips that I have taken to Haiti in the past 8 months. I am going to start trying to write some of them down so that I do the trips the justice they are due. I think I will start by sharing some stupid questions that I asked while in Haiti. If you know me you know I am never short on what to ask someone. I should have been an interrogator because I am great at coming up with questions to ask people. I really do want to know the answers to them too. I am a sticky beak (this is what my college teammate, Jaimie, who is from Australia used to call me) That is a nicer word that calling me nosey. But, some of the questions I asked my interpreter to ask people in Haiti were really dumb. . . live in learn right? So here they go. . .
1. I asked a 12-year old boy, what is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? He smirked and said, "ANYTHING!!". Now, remember people in Haiti don't get to be picky like we are in America. He doesn't ask him mom in the morning to make him a waffle or doesn't get to ask his dad to stop by the donut shop on the way to school. He eats anything he can get. If he is lucky that day he actually gets to eat period. One meal. Anything!!
2. I asked a lady that was very pregnant, "when are you due?". Our translator, JR, who spoke English well, didn't know what I was trying to say. After explaining to him that I was trying to figure out when her baby was coming he asked her the question. She wasn't sure. I later was told that women in Haiti have no concept of when there baby will be born because they have no concept of time. It's not like they check their calendar daily and have a due date or even a due month. The MOH president told us that many ladies think that they are pregnant for 3 years!!
3. When going around to different "houses" (I have to put a quote around the word house because it is NOTHING like what we think of as a house in America) to pray with people I kept asking, "what can I pray with you about? Or do you have any prayer request? Well in a country that has very little food and hardly any jobs, and virtually no medical care you can probably guess everyone's answer to me. They would say, "I need food, I need a job, I am sick (or my baby is sick). After about the 15th house, JR told me to stop asking what they need and just pray for them!! You would think I would have caught on before he had to tell me!

Broken Swings and Snacks

Wednesday, February 1st
     In Haiti I read a quote that said, "this is your mission trip, your home is your mission field". I like that. Most people never take a mission trip because they aren't even working in their mission field. I want to make sure that I am not waiting until I go back to Haiti to do what God would have me do. I know everyday wherever I am my job is to be a light for Jesus. It is easy to do that in my home, with my friends, in my church, in my fitness camp and even in my Arbonne business. Most all of those people are like me. We have the same interest, many of the same goals and same values. To really be a light and make a difference I have to break out of the normal and create a "new normal" for myself so that God will be glorified to people that may not get to experience the love of Christ on a daily basis or even ever.
      My friend, Mindy from CBC church (that is our new church plant in Coweta that our BA church started in October) read a book that I recommended to her, Kisses from Katie. It is about a young girl in her 20's that moved to Uganda, Africa and since then has adopted 13 African girls. She is making such a difference there with people that are in such need that she doesn't ever think she will return to America. The story is inspiring and incredible. Mindy sent out a message on Facebook saying that although she doesn't think she will ever move to Africa she knows that there are mission fields all around her. One that God has put on her mind is in Coweta. It is a particular apartment complex that she drives by everyday on her way to pick up her kids from school. Mindy is fairly shy and like most of us hates to get out her comfort zone. (although she is doing it more and more out of obedience to God). She said she sees so much hurting there as she drives by and wants to minister to the people there. But, she has no clue how to start.
      So today Mindy and I along with our kids went to those apartments with snacks in hand and began to "hang out". I got there first and my 3-year old ran to the only working swing. That is where he stayed for the entire time we were there. I even brought our dog Daisy as a way to draw people in.  It wasn't long before there were several kids and a few moms that joined us on the patch of grass they call a "play ground". Mindy and her kids arrived shortly after me with more snacks and a basketball. Bronson and her son Parker began to shoot around and a teenage boy came to join them. As the kids got off the bus in droves we waved and offered snacks to them. Most of the kids were hesitant to come over to us. One mom that we met told me that the apartments are not safe and that kids should not be left alone at all to play. She said that there was a major drug problem and that recently there was a shooting. She said the cops come out all the time for drug busts. We were able to begin to talk to her about God and church. She said she wasn't raised in church but that she has been wanting to go. Mindy offered to pick her up and take her and she said she would like to go. I know that God wants the people in that apartment complex on fire for HIM just as He desires each one of us to be on FIRE for HIM. Mindy went by to pick up our new 19 year old friend for church and her 2 kids but she didn't come out and didn't answer her phone. I wasn't surprised. Old habits die hard and I know that Satan doesn't want anyone to come to Christ. But, I know who wins the battle and we will be back out there this Friday and next Monday and next Friday and so on. There is a spiritual battle waged on those apartments, a battle for those parents and those kids. God wants them and so does Satan. But, God will WIN!!  Luke 10:2 says "the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest field".
     My kids were with me, it is not a safe place, it is uncomfortable. there is a spiritual battle that I can feel there. Should that stop me? My flesh says yes. My spirit says that is why we should go. As I look at the people of scripture they didn't NOT go because it wasn't safe. They went because they wanted to Lord to be glorified and that is why I went today and why I will go back. I am proud to stand beside my friend Mindy as she is obedient to go to a place that she knows people are hurting. After all if you knew someone that was sick and you had the medicine would you not give it them so they wouldn't die? We, as followers of Christ, have the medicine. I want my kids to know nothing else but dying to self and living for Christ. May I be that role model for them.. . daily, hourly, every moment. Only with the Lord's help.